Dear Buddha,

(:

it's getting better.
time colours our perceptions. they change (maybe for the better) as it passes. Maybe after some time I'll realise the other wonderful colours that awaits me when i awaken from my blindness.

thank you.


Renny

My days are passed now, with (almost) silent acceptance, save the occasional more emotional resistance as futile an attempt as it might be. However, the occasions are becoming frequent. I start to worry, am i going back to the days of my JC life? When that thought arises and permanently resides in the depths of my mind, that hauls my emotions yet again.

Yes, i have agreed with the ones i hold close to my heart. I shouldn't take all things i've been blessed with for granted. I have agreed that my dreams do not die when the road i've been looking to travel has been blocked.

Ah, inertia. We all will need time to steer away from our intended choice of routes in life, do we?

Maybe that explains my shaken optimism, the one that everyone out there thinks what i am.
Maybe thats why the emotions are bursting from the brim, tipping each time i steer away further from my original route.
Maybe,... maybe. Maybe i should stop. breathe. wipe away the excess emotions off my face. How to?


He said the time has not yet ripened. My Kharma has not actualised yet. Yes, a definite truth, judging by the status quo. Who to blame? Who to tell? Who to ask for help?

3 years from now, will i be the same me?

___

The truth lies within me. I know i have geared away from you. I drown in regret, and yet i feel my lack of motivation. I miss my times when i knew, that you would be there, forever. I miss the times when i knew, that you would never see me differently for what i did. I miss the times when i knew, you were my best friend.

As i spend more time exploring the outside world, i have almost forgot what kept me grounded in the past. I have allowed myself to be swept away by winds of change, but never to stop and take my stand firmly. I must remember.

The knife i grasped now with my hands will be dropped. My hypocrisy will end here. The double-edged sword should not be picked up again.

___

Covered faces, painted hearts
The game we play, we’re all masked

Crafted words and blatant lies
The game we play can’t have no alibi

Faces wasted, light’s been covered

Masks cover our true colours


Welcome to the masquerade

Colours cover our true face

Welcome to the masquerade

No one’s real, no one’s real


Running through their tainted visions

Drowning in their misconceptions

Can’t seem to find my reflection

Then i realize, i wear one too...

__ copyright of renny :D



i will be better.

__

May the prayers I make from now on be dedicated to the lost, may they recover their dreams and hopes. May the path of realisation be clear of obstacles.